Losing Authority

It often starts in places where someone else’s judgment carries more weight than yours.

At some point, you notice yourself hesitating.

It happens because you’re no longer sure how what you notice will be received.

You used to speak up without rehearsing. You named what you noticed and trusted it would be handled. The expectation was simple: say what you see and assume it would be taken seriously.

Then the responses changed. What you named was brushed past, reframed, or quietly set aside. You weren’t told to stop. You weren’t corrected. But the signal was there. Some things were easier if left alone.

And without anyone saying it out loud, a question creeps in: Is this on me?

The doubt feels personal.

But it didn’t begin there.

No one tells you outright that you’re wrong. Instead, some observations are welcomed, while others slow the room down.

Over time, you adjust.

You learn what creates tension and what gets passed over.

The change is subtle, and it happens without anything being said.

I saw this early in my career, when I was working in internal audit. My job was to review internal processes and identify risks before they became larger problems.

After one meeting, an executive pulled me aside. He told me his peers were getting better audit results than he was. He said it plainly, without embarrassment. Then he explained why.

He said my peers were “turning a blind eye.” If I did the same, his results would improve too.

He didn’t argue with my findings. He didn’t say I was wrong. He simply asked me not to look so closely next time.

In that moment, being thorough became a liability.

Nothing about that moment required a decision. I continued documenting findings and reviewing risks, even as the comment stayed with me.

As I documented a finding, his comment sat in the background. I paused over wording. I wondered which details would draw attention and which would pass without resistance.

Over time, the work felt different. Writing things down started to feel more vulnerable than it did before.

The doubt that follows isn’t about confidence.

It’s the residue of repeated dismissal.

Long after roles change and circumstances move on, what lingers isn’t any single exchange. It’s whether you keep trusting what you know, or begin trusting how others respond to it.